AssUMeIng
by xaihposx
Summary: Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... Very, very slow Yullen AreKan Note: Focuses more on the interactions of characters than the Grim Reaper bit.
1. Falling down to Earth

Ass-U-Me-Ing

**Summary: Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... Yullen Allenda**

**Warnings: Kanda (half) swears. Because he's Kanda.**

**Not beta'd, so feel free to point out stupid mistakes**

**I don't own D. Gray-man**

**Chapter One**

* * *

"Where were you last night?"

Allen sighed, then smiled as he turned around.

"Hello, Rhode." The girl standing in front of him smiled as she licked a giant lollipop. Ignoring his greeting, she continued.

"You were shirking your duties again, I see." Rhode scooted closer to him, smirking as she took a bite out of her candy. "Not that I mind of course. However, a bit of warning would be nice before you go MIA on us. Tyki and I can't _always_ be there to mess with newly dead souls." She sighed. "I have no clue how you can be so interested in humans while being one of the best grim reapers in heaven."

Allen, forever a gentleman, maintained his polite smile while he replied.

"Thanks for always covering for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I _do_ have to go and check in again."

"No need for that." Tyki appeared next to the two. Allen shot them a confused look. "You see, Rhode and I have decided that if you're planning to skip work so much, you might as well just take an official vacation. Knowing you, you wouldn't care for _our_ idea of a vacation, so we had a nice talk with our good friend and boss the Earl and decided to give you a year in the human world, attending a school entirely unrelated to our profession as to satisfy your people fetish. Of course, such a personalized vacation has its setbacks, and you will still have to work at night in compensation for your 'human' life."

Allen's smile twitched slightly at the phrase 'people fetish', but he was too grateful to punch Tyki. He had wanted to return to being human, but hadn't known it was possible. This was probably the closest he would get, and he knew it. Opening his mouth, he began to speak.

"I don't know how to thank you guys-" Tyki cut him off.

"You don't need to. We know you too well. Now goodbye, darling~" His hand went forward and pushed Allen off the platform that the three had been standing on.

* * *

Contrary to what most people seemed to think, only a select few grim reapers were able to fly. Allen was not one of them.

Having died at sixteen, however, he still had that crazy bit of recklessness that every teenager had and he decided that if Tyki was going to suffer from this, Allen himself would have to grab onto something before he hit the ground. Unfortunately, there was nothing nearby to grab. After waiting a moment for himself to fall further, he managed to grab the branch of a poor, unsuspecting tree. As expected, he didn't have the strength to hold on, but the grab helped him slow his descent enough so that he wouldn't die when he hit the ground.

_Boom__._

Despite his precautions, Allen was still pretty sure that he had left a dent his exact shape in the ground where he'd landed. As he lay there, he wondered what he was supposed to do. He had no clue what the school he was to be attending was called, nor did he have any money on him. In fact, he wasn't too sure where exactly he was. Which was why he came to a simple conclusion.

_I'll lie here and get the help of some stranger who passes by. It's against human morals to leave someone just lying on the ground when the person needs help._

Allen was, of course, ignoring the fact that somehow people still managed to die on the streets every day.

* * *

As he looked around from under half-closed eyes, Allen saw a figure approaching. Wondering why the person didn't seem to notice him, he quickly realized that he wasn't visible from the person's viewpoint (he was lying directly behind a log that the person was approaching). Quickly, he fully closed his eyes and rolled twice away from the log.

"Fu-!" Allen looked up to see a tall, dark-haired beauty nearly trip over him.

_Mmmm, totally my type. If only he were a girl._

"What the F are you doing just lying there for? The ground isn't a hotel made specially for you!" The 'Darkhaired Bitc*', as Allen decided to dub the man, strode off muttering swears under his breath.

_...Well, I guess people don't follow human morals here. _Allen thought, slightly annoyed.

However, 30 seconds later another guy skipped in Allen's direction.

"Wait up, Yuu, _beautiful_!~" A boy with bright orange hair and a carefree smile skidded to a stop right next to Allen.

"Oh? What do we have here? A new student?" He looked down at Allen, then held out a hand to him and helped him stand. "I bet you're lost and Yuu was as rude as always and ignored you!" He said, his bright smile not faltering for a second. "Don't worry, I'll take you to the main office. I'm Lavi, by the way."

"...How do you know that I'm a new student?" Allen asked. Lavi looked back at him confidently.

"That's easy. It's because I know everything!"

* * *

**...To do with the school. xD Lavi sounds so cocky there.**

**Okay, so I was feeling a bit guilty about not uploading anything new since forever which is why I uploaded this. I'm not too satisfied with how it turned out, but I've been wanting to see a story like this for a while so I just went and uploaded it. (Actually, the part of the story I'm the most proud of so far is the summary OTL)**

**Stupid title is because I suck at making titles and also because I'm pretty sure that there's going to be at least one wrong assumption every chapter that turns out wrong.**

**Major apologies to those reading 'Gate' or 'Girlfriend', My iPod had all the notes for all my stories (including prompt ideas-sob!) and it decided to crash on me. Because I never sync with a computer, the notes are all gone and I can't bring myself to rewrite them, or more like I don't remember any of the stuff on them, so I don't know when those stories will be next updated.**

**Other than that, thanks for reading(or scrolling down to the bottom of the page)! If you know what the assumption was for this chapter, please press the big blue 'Review' button and tell me. Thank You! ;D**


	2. Introducing the School

Ass-U-Me-Ing  
**  
Summary: Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... Yullen Allenda**

**Warnings: Some swears. Also some OOC if my view of Lavi differs from yours**

**Sorry for the really bad second person POV (stalker speech), but as this fanfic is my way of practicing writing I want to try out new styles. An amazing fanfic reminded me that Lavi is only another facade which is why Lavi refers to himself as 'you' (in my headcanon as of today). If you enjoy it, please tell me and we may see more chapters in this style.**

**Also, random chapter titles have been added on a whim.**

**Still not beta'd, so feel free to point out stupid mistakes**

**I don't own D. Gray-man**

**Chapter Two: Introducing the School**

* * *

_"That's easy. It's because I know everything!"_

* * *

You observe the whitehaired individual in front of you. Hair color does not define age, as is once again proved to you, and you take note that the boy is most likely around your age, if not younger. He has not yet responded to your arrogant comment, and the silence is growing long (although considering how fast you think, it may have only been a few seconds since you last spoke). Looking around you, your eyes drift back to the dent you saw in the ground when helping the boy up.

_He had to have fallen from a high level to leave such a mark. When pulling him up earlier, I noted his weight and he is nowhere near heavy enough to leave such an imprint from merely tripping._

"I suppose that's a logical answer. Allen Walker, pleased to make your acquaintance." Allen holds his hand out and you shake it with a nice, firm grip. Both of your smiles are equally bright, and you immediately think,

_Damn__, __he__'__s __good__._

New students provide new information, and so you open your mouth and start asking questions before he can.

"So, where're ya from?" You skillfully work an accent into your speech, matching your attitude. Allen doesn't miss a beat before replying,

"Wales. Haven't been there since I was a baby though, I've moved around a lot. Before you can find out more about him, Allen counters with his own question. "So, what kind of school is this?"

You give him an incredulous look.

"You enrolled at this school without knowing anything about it?"

Allen shrugs sheepishly.

"Actually, the ones who currently watch over me signed me up. They just dropped me off here and left without explaining." You note the vague reply, and Allen's avoidance of the word 'guardian'. Then, taking a deep breath, you laugh out loud. Thrusting a thumb at yourself, you say,

"Well, you're in luck! I happen to be the school guide, and I'm in charge of all the tours around here. However...," You turn around and begin walking purposefully, and Allen walks with you. "...We're running out of time and need to get going! So I'll give you the marketer's pitch while we walk," As Allen begins to speak, you whirl around and wag a finger in his face playfully. "No, no, no, please don't interrupt me until I'm finished~,"

As the two of you make your way out of the forest, you continue blabbering random things about the school until it comes into view. As soon as the main gate is visible, you turn around - The sun is shining right behind you, the light framing you perfectly with the school also reflecting rays of light off of the panels of glass. You're sure of this, you've already done it countless times before - to face Allen.

"Welcome to World's End Boarding School!" You continue moving backwards as you begin to point out places once they come into view. "You'll be able to see the beauty of our gardens once a week, during the Nature Integration class, to your right. More often if you join any of our many outdoors clubs." The pride of the gardens actually lie in the fact that the flowers are all common breeds, yet still draw students to it. Allen nods, but he is clearly not very interested. "The 'Dumpster' is over down there. Hopefully you _never_ get stuck with extra garbage duty." You point at the 'Dumpster', which is more a building of its own made up of trash. "And over here we have our stables."

This continues for a while, with you pointing out places and providing a description for them, occasionally cracking a joke as well. You are pleased that Allen doesn't try to interrupt you, and so finish quickly.

"...And right in front here is the Main Office!" Looking at Allen, you wait for a response. As expected, you don't wait long.

"...Am I right in assuming that World's End is a prestigious school?" You laugh.

"_Prestigious__?_ Are you kidding?" still laughing, and also beginning to have a bit of trouble breathing, you continue. "World's End is the dumping ground for rich kids - And some less rich people. We're the ones that became too much for our parents to handle. Or had nowhere else to go. Or were recently orphaned. Basically, the government paid for this luxurious place using donations from our families as well as taxes. You know the saying, 'out of sight, out of mind'? Most government officials don't even know about this school, that's how secret it is," You see Allen's look of shock and add as an afterthought, "...Well, I guess you _could_ call it exclusive."

"...But isn't that rather cruel? Calling it the World's _End_ High School even..." You look at him, surprised.

"Oh? I didn't tell you? Sorry, the school isn't actually World's _End_, it's W.E. Boarding School, which stands for World's _Embrace_, due to the fact that we get students from everywhere. World's end is just what we students call it." You turn around and push open the door before Allen can say another word. After entering, you let out a long, low wolf whistle. Sauntering over to the front desk, you lean over the table and smile flirtatiously at the girl in front of you.

"Well hellooooooooo Lenalee~" You purr. "How's life been treatin' you?" This is the two of you's game, and Lenalee doesn't mind since she knows you aren't serious.

"I've been doing great, thanks for asking." She smiles. "I even got an A on the project I worked on with Kanda." Then she catches sight of Allen behind you, looking _extremely _confused.

"Who's this? A new friend of yours?" You snort and shake your head.

"_Everyone__'__s _my friend, Lenalee! But yeah, he's a new student. Has an Allen Walker been added to the files recently?" Lenalee glances quickly at the monitor next to her, then sees what she is looking for.

"That's right," Smiling at Allen and shaking his hand, she tells him, "Your stuff has already arrived. You'll be in room 806, so here's your key and a map. I'm Lenalee, by the way. It's nice to meet you." Allen smiles back of course, returning the gesture and you two leave. Outside, Allen takes a look at the item he's been given.

"Ooh," You say. Allen is holding what looks like a round golden bell with wings and a tail. "So your key is one of the Golems?" Allen gives you a quizzical look.

"What do you mean? Not all the keys look like this? Also, what's with you and Lenalee? Are you two dating?" A barrage of questions hit you at once.

"Now, now, one at a time," You joke, then begin answering. "Of course keys are different. Otherwise it would be too easy to break into someone else's room. Also, how else would you know your roommate? And as for Lenalee, of course not! It's just how we are. Which, of course, leaves her single if you want to ask her out." You can't resist including that last bit. Allen thinks about this for a moment, then accepts your answer.

"Okay then. But what does that make _your_ key? Also, don't think I didn't hear that joke about Lenalee, I'm just letting you go for now. You smile sheepishly, then say

"My key is a long series of characters for a passcode, that's all. Now then, we'd better get to your room!" You quickly change the subject - It's never too good to let someone know your key - before grabbing Allen's arm and running for the dorms. Allen yells,

"Stop!" So you do.

"I've been wondering this for a while, but don't you have to get to class? Won't you get in trouble if you don't attend?" You laugh.

"Bookman's cool. He won't mind." _And he'd probably be more angry if I passed up the chance to get info on a new student. _

"... Okay then...," You smile, because unknowingly while the two of you were talking Allen has been following you to the dorm. When he next looks up you are at the dorm doors. You jump, grabbing on to the pole next to the walls, then start to pull yourself up. Allen is surprised to see where he has ended up, but he quickly gets over his confusion and sets to the task of following you up. As to why there's a door leading out to open air, Allen chooses not to think about it. You take him inside.

You point at a door down the middle of the hall. It's a plain design, with only a few abstract markings painted on it in black.

"That's your room. Lucky you, you'll be sharing with Kanda -" The door opens, Allen having already inserted his key. He winces as a voice from inside yells,

"Who the f*ck are you and why are you in my room?"

_...Oh. It looks like Kanda's back._

* * *

***Really surprised at all the positive response, so I uploaded another chapter.**

**Thanks to Elena Windwalker, 99DenmonChick99, Mukuro234 , Pathless , and the two Guests for reviewing!**

**Thanks to AAnimeLoverr29, MerziaSeria, Alissa Lee, awesomeliciousnes, Iloveyou27, sweet sonia, and timcanpy8me for favoriting/following, hope you decide to drop a review sometime :)**

**Sorry if the chapter was boring/long, I just kind of wanted to introduce the school. Also...**

**That's right, Allen will not be attending Black Order Academy. I repeat, _Allen Walker will not be attending Black Order Academy_. There are way too many Black Order Academies out there (Also the use of 'Academy' or 'High School' for School AU's outnumbers other synonyms for 'school' outrageously) and it's getting kind of annoying, so I made up a name (It was either World's End or Fried Egg). Also, the Black Order is related to the Earl.**

**Also, the Document Uploader hasn't been liking me recently. I tried to fix all of the formatting stuff it messed up, but please tell me if you catch a mistake.**

**If you liked the chapter in this style, please tell me!**

**Not much interaction in this chapter but next... *waggles eyebrows mysteriously***

**If you like the idea of Lavi being framed by sunlight, raise your hand!(By pressing the Review button) :D**


	3. Insults, or Terms of Endearment

Ass-U-Me-Ing

**Summary:** Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... Yullen Allenda

**Warnings: **Lotsa swears that look really weird due to my makeshift censors, Kanda

*written quickly, so is short

Now it's Kanda's turn, introducing the first person perspective! Some events and stuff may be written differently from what actually happens, due to Kanda's biased perspective. Also he may be reading a lot of people's statements wrongly which is why everyone may seem ruder.

**Not beta'd**

**I don't own D. Gray-man**

**Chapter Three: The Establishment of Insults, or as Lavi would call them, Terms of Endearment**

* * *

"_Who the f*ck are you and why are you in my room?"_

_...Oh. It looks like Kanda's back._

* * *

"Who the f*ck are you and why the hell are you in my room?" I move closer to Mugen, preparing to grab her if I need to kick some ass to get him out.

Him, of course, referring to the little b*stard who almost tripped me earlier and has just barged into my room. Said annoyance looks at me, surprised,

"Oh, it's the darkhaired b*tch from before."

WHAT. THE. _F*CK._

_What_ is with that Condescending Attitude? I hate people like that.

I walk towards him, ready to give him a piece of my mind.

He smiles, then holds out his hand and says,

"I'm Allen Walker, your new roommate. Pleased to meet -" just as I growl,

"Who did you call a b*stard, you freaky little midget?" Instantly his entire expression changes. He matches my glare and yells,

"I am _not_ a midget! For your information, I am 168 cm tall," He mutters under his breath something I can't hear, then the b*stard, the little _b*stard_ smirks and adds another line. "Yuu."

…

Okay.

That's it.

He is _dead._

"You do _not_ call me by my first name, midget! Yes, that's right, _midget._ You're like the same size as the beans on the table over there. In fact, I think I'll call you Beansprout."

The Beansprout glares, ready to retort, but of course as always Lavi is here too and he speaks up.

"_Tsk, tsk,_ Yuu, that's no way to treat your new roommate."

…

Roommate?

I go over my earlier conversation with Beansprout in my head.

_Roommate?_

…

Lavi turns to Allen and whispers, "Don't worry, he's just a little slow at times."

I glare at them both and begin to speak.

"No way. There is _no way_ I am rooming with this _Beansprout_."

Lavi cocks his head and smiles brightly, as if he has no clue what I'm talking about even though the b*stard perfectly well knows since he's a f*cking genius. Then he says, with a perfectly innocent I Am So Trolling You Right Now voice,

"What are you talking about? Of course you aren't rooming with a vegetable. You're rooming with Allen here." He gestures to the Beansprout, and it's _so obvious_ that he's suppressing his laughter. "I would've pegged you as someone who can recognise vegetables, you eat them so often."

_Okay, that's it._

I think, then attempt to simultaneously punch Lavi (I miss, as always. Lavi has Cockroach Reflexes) and push the two out the door before slamming it and putting on the trusty Chain Lock. Oh, how I love the old-fashioned locks sometimes.

Then I look around. Sh*t. Where's Mugen.

"Oh Yuu~" The cheerful voice grates at my nerves. "You haven't forgotten that Mugen isn't allowed in the dorms, have you? I know you'd just _hate_ to accidentally her, so I took the liberty of grabbing her before Allen and I left."

_F*ck._ He knows I just got back from getting Mugen, and there's no way that I'm gonna let him leave with her.

Fine then. I guess I'll just have to chase after him.

I whirl around, opening the chain lock and slamming open the door with record speed, I begin to chase after Lavi. No clue where the Beansprout has disappeared to.

"F*cking Rabbit! Give back my sword!"

* * *

…"**Silly Rabbit, Mugen is only for me!" Said Kanda.**

^If any of you know what I am mocking feel free to tell me.

Darn it, I got so used to writing in second person that I keep having to go back and correct all my 'you's and change them to 'I's/make the sentences fit first person.

I was so tempted to troll you all and make Mugen actually Kanda's pet plant or something (Lavi:"Kanda! Did you sneak in Mugen again? You know it's supposed to stay in the greenhouse..." Kanda: I'm the best one to care for Mugen, and that's that!") but I didn't want to be killed.

As always, sorry that nothing much happened, but this isn't a love at first sight fic and I want to focus some on the character's interactions as well as the grim reaper part and the strangeness of the school (probably these will start after Allen gets unpack, which should be next chapter I guess - I have no real plan for the story, just a few lines that I wanna work in eventually)

* * *

Review Replies here: Feel free to skip down to the review button ;D

**99DenmonChick99**- Yeah, there are really few fics that use second person perspective :) I'm glad you liked it, I'll be trying to improve so it isn't as confusing XD That's good (*new Lavi fangirl here) I have an addiction to those kind of images OTL

**Mukuro234**- The 'you's are because the entire chapter was written in second person perspective ;)

**Pathless **- That's exactly what I'm planning on doing, just trying to figure out what perspectives best ;D

Thanks to cielx12 and Alluka HK Mustang for favoriting/following! Hope you decide to drop a review sometime :)


	4. Black Slash Cherries

Ass-U-Me-Ing

**Summary:** Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... very, very slow Yullen AreKan

**Warnings: **Slight Tyki/Rhode? O.o I don't think so, but my view of their characters may be different from yours. maybe OOC

Sorry for not updationg for a while (a few days lol) but today I wouldn't let myself go on the computer until I finished the next chapter, so here you are!

**Not beta'd**

**I don't own D. Gray-man**

**Chapter Four: Black Slash Cherries**

* * *

_I whirl around, opening the chain lock and slamming open the door with record speed, I begin to chase after Lavi. No clue where the Beansprout has disappeared to._

"_F*cking Rabbit! Give back my sword!"_

* * *

Allen watched as Lavi led the rampaging annoyance down the hall. He laughed as the two of them jumped out the door he and Lavi had used to get in, Kanda(he really had to find a better way to address him - preferably without swears) yelling out profanities all the while.

Then Allen turned and walked back into the room. It was a good thing he had a key. Mentally berating himself for letting his name for Kanda slip earlier, he set out to explore the room. It was a fairly decent-sized place, more like an apartment with a main room with a kitchen attached near the entrance, and a slight hallway that led to three more rooms.

One of these rooms turned out to be a bathroom, and - Allen couldn't help but laugh - It seemed that Kanda owned _butterfly hair clips_. The other two rooms were bedrooms. The first one was pretty bare, and Allen quickly left when he realized it belonged to his new roommate. The second room, however, proved to have been rarely used and he immediately knew it was going to be his own new room. It had a single twin mattress over a basic wooden frame as well as a simple desk, but that was all. The window didn't even have curtains on it. Allen decided that he had better get unpacked and make the place look more homey.

Walking over to a stack of boxes right next to what he presumed to be a closet, he opened the first one (they were all unlabeled, as the pricks in the company were _horrible_ at organizing). The first thing he pulled out was a giant, fabric... something. Rather than trying to identify it, he put it aside and picked up what was laying beneath it: a laptop. Allen grinned. This was more like it.

Promptly pushing his unpacking aside, he closed the door and sat down on his carpet. Opening the laptop, he was surprised to see that it was actually a quite nice design, one that he might have chosen for himself. Next to the keyboard the usual stickers that would mark the feature had been taken off, and somehow(Allen wasn't sure) they had managed to install an extra USB port, as well as making the entire laptop a simple silver color.

Allen pressed the 'on' button and waited for it to load. Response was instantaneous, and all of a sudden Tyki's face filled the screen. He seemed to be eating a sandwich. Said person - no - _being_ glanced towards the camera (or whatever it was taping him) and seemed to notice Allen staring at him confusedly. Holding a hand over his mouth, he said,

"Hey, Rhode! He's made it." as he gestured with one hand away from the screen. Rhode quickly appeared next to Tyki.

"Y'know, eating with your mouth full looks really bad," she smirked. Tyki smiled in response.

"Oh, but you're the only one who ever sees me doing that." Allen stared at the two, then sighed.

"Would the two of you stop flirting and explain how in the hell this vacation is gonna work?" Tyki gasped in mock indignation.

"You think Rhode and I are _flirting_? We'd never do such a thing, right _sweetie pie_?" He said, laughter in his eyes as he turned towards the girl and added the nickname. Rhode smiled in return.

"Of course not, _Tyki-kins_." Tyki glared, then sighed in defeat.

"Okay, you win this time." Allen rolled his eyes at the two.

"Mind explaining why you couldn't just _take_ me to the school?" He asked. Tyki smiled.

"Simple. No one would believe we were your guardians, and also it's boring. We're perfectly satisfied talking to you through video." Allen blinked.

"Speaking of which, why _are_ you on video chat? The last time I checked, heaven didn't have internet. Or laptops." Tyki sighed.

"Well, isn't it obvious we aren't _in_ heaven then? Here, Rhode, take the laptop and show him the cafe," he looked back at Allen and added, "They have these _amazing_ croissants, too bad you can't try some." Allen sighed. He _really_ wished Tyki would stop talking about food with him. It was hard to work while thinking about what you were missing.

"We're in a pretty nice cafe that happens to be located in a town near your school."

"Great. Now tell me about how my job will work," Allen deadpanned. Tyki sighed.

"Alright. You'll get a list of about five people that you'll have to bring every night, not to heaven but to a meeting spot, as you can't go back and forth to heaven every day. Luckily, there are quite a few means of transportation once you leave the school, as well as a hospital district nearby, so you won't have to run around too often." he stated.

"And how will I receive the list?"

"You have been provided with two emails, a school email and a personal one. Wait a second - We'll get a private room and give you the information." Allen watched as the screen turned black and sound stopped coming from the speaker. He noticed the strange cloth he had found earlier and decided,

_I should probably ask them about that as well._

The screen flickered back to life as Tyki's face appeared once again.

"Okay. I'm going to give you your account name and password now. Are you ready?" Allen held up a finger.

"Wait. I need to get a pen and paper." Tyki shook his head.

"Don't write this down. You can write down your school email but we can't risk anyone reading your personal one." Allen stared.

"Why would anyone want to do that? I can tell when people are planning something." Tyki sighed.

"Listen. Just... Don't, okay? You may be able to tell, but sometimes people _don't_ plan these things, and we can't have a human get their hands on a list of who's to die." Allen rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he said, still planning to write down the information later. He couldn't afford to forget. "What is it?" Tyki began.

"For your school email, your username will be allen_walker and your password is 314159. As for you personal email, the user is blackslashcherries and the password will be 84it6ho5t5. Feel free to change either, but don't make the password _too_ easy, please. Allen nodded. Then he held up the black cloth from before.

"Mind telling me what this is?" He heard Rhode'd muffled laughter. Tyki's smile was slowly growing.

"Oh, that? Well, we figured that since that's what mortals seem to think the Grim Reaper wears, you could have some fun and scare them by showing up in the tattered robes. We also have a skull mask in one of the boxes if you want." Allen glared.

"Never! Are you crazy, I'm trying to fit in!" The other two grinned.

"Okay then, no need to shout~ Anyway, we've got to go, but if you need help, just open video chat in your _personal_ email. If we aren't busy, we'll be on." The two's image disappeared, leaving a normal desktop screen. Allen closed it and sighed. He'd check his email later, as he needed to unpack now. But first...

Allen started opening boxes frantically, looking for a pen and pad to write down what he'd learned.

_How do they expect me to remember those types of random passcodes?_

* * *

Thanks for waiting guys. Yes, Allen's passcodes are pie and baitghosts.

By the way, I wrote a drabble and I'm going to shamelessly plug it here. It's called Orientational Discrepancies and you can read it here [fanfiction dot net]/s/8346025 or it's on my page as well. Please take a look and tell me what you think, it's only 150 words! I'm going to try and improve my writing now, so if you see areas in which I could do better, please tell me! Also, for the next chapter I want to write about a dinner together, but I don't know what perspective to use(I'm leaning towards third person again, what do you think?)

Also, as of now this fic is 10 views away from 500! O.O *shock Thanks everyone! :D

Thanks to Mukuro234, cielx12, and Erstina 13624 for reviewing! Replies are here:

cielx12 - He's so violent, but he's also protective of his friends ;D Also, updated! XD

Thanks to demonsinmycloset for following, hope you decide to drop a review sometime :)

If you can totally see Tyki talking with his mouth full - and pulling it off - **review!**


	5. Dinner

Ass-U-Me-Ing

**Summary:** Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... very, very slow Yullen AreKan Note: Focuses more on the interactions of characters than the Grim Reaper bit

**Warnings: None(I think)**

**Not beta'd**

**I don't own D. Gray-man**

**Chapter Five: Dinner**

* * *

_Allen started opening boxes frantically, looking for a pen and pad to write down what he'd learned._

_How do they expect me to remember those types of random passcodes?_

* * *

Allen stood up and smiled, surveying his handiwork.

_There._

His work was done. Each and every one of the boxes had been emptied, and if they weren't it was because Allen had organized the items inside. The desk now had office supplies neatly displayed on top of it - Allen was _never_ going to have to search for a pen again. His bed finally had blankets, and he had thrown the odd miscellaneous items under it - he'd deal with them later, and the floor under there wasn't _that_ dirty. There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Allen asked, forgetting that he hadn't been entirely welcomed by Kanda earlier. Luckily, he wasn't the one at the door.

"It's Lavi. You decent?" The boy asked before opening the door regardless of Allen's reply. He smiled. "Good. You are. Anyway, we're going to eat dinner now, so come on out." Allen looked at him unsurely.

"Are you sure I should? After all, Kanda doesn't really seem to want me around here..." _...If only he knew I could easily crush him_. Allen added in his mind, annoyed.

"No worries," Lavi countered. "Lenalee's here, and she's his super good childhood friend - Or she has really good blackmail on him, I'm not sure which - so he listens to her. Besides, they're in the kitchen. Come on!" And with that he turned around and walked out of the room. Allen followed, figuring that he might as well go for the food.

* * *

The two of them sat at the table in silence. Drumming his fingertips on the wood, Lavi searched his mind for something to say.

"So what's for dinner, Yuu?"

There was a silence, then Kanda replied.

"Beansprouts."

More silence.

Lavi turned to Allen and laughed.

"So, do you cook?" Allen shook his head. "Thought so. Kanda and Lenalee are some of the only people I know that can. Cook _well_, that is," Lavi smirked. "Did you know that Kanda is actually a really good pastry chef?" Mugen's hilt met Lavi's head, and Allen winced at the cracking sound that could be heard.

"Shut up, Rabbit," Kanda said, as he and Lenalee reached the table. He was holding what seemed to be a pan of... stir-fried _beansprouts_ while Lenalee was carrying out two other covered dishes. She smiled as the two sat down, her next to Lavi and Kanda to Allen's right (although Allen failed to ignore the other's obvious reluctance to sit). They uncovered the other dishes and each of them began to eat.

Allen couldn't help but notice how differently they all ate. He himself he felt was the most normal, having taken an equal amount of every dish (although it was three-people's worth of food, it was still well-balanced!) and using a fork as well as a knife for the meat, all on a plate he had found in one of the boxes in his room(he was feeling polite today and had decided not to be rude and use Kanda's stuff without asking) and washed.

Lavi, on the other hand, was using a strange chopstick(_one_ chopstick, mind you) and butter knife combo, sometimes using a plastic straw as well, all on a large (clean) ashtray. He had taken mainly vegetables, with a little bit of meat, and somehow managed to sound as though his mouth was full even when he obviously wasn't eating. He gestured at Kanda as he talked, making the other boy scowl as Lenalee giggled goodnaturedly.

Said girl was using something a bit more normal, using a fork to eat and a spoon to... _drink?_ as she ate mainly beansprouts on a plate printed with Hello Kitty's face.

Lastly, Kanda was pretty much ignoring all of them, wolfing down super-thick noodles with some sort of sauce on them, with a cup of tea in front of him. He used a bowl with a lotus design printed on it, and ate with chopsticks. Two _pairs_ of chopsticks.

"Is it no good?" Allen looked up. Lenalee was the one who had asked the question. "You aren't eating," she said. "Does it taste bad?" Allen shook his head, saying,

"Sorry, I was spacing out," before taking a bite of the beansprouts.

_...Huh. It's surprisingly good._ He thought. _I thought that the sky had the highest standards when it came to food, but it seems that humans can make decent stuff as well._

The rest of the food was quickly finished after that, with Allen, Lenalee, and Lavi chatting loudly as Kanda ignored them in turn for a second helping.

Soon, Kanda stood up and took his stuff to the sink. Allen didn't even notice that he had left, he was so quiet, and continued discussing with Lenalee why green eggs tasted better. Lavi had agreed with him, and was trying to use peer pressure to convince her.

A slammed door told them all that Kanda had retreated to his room.

"Hmmm, it seems to be meditation time. And when Kanda has meditation, it means that it's getting late and I should get my homework done!" Lavi winked. "I'll stop by tomorrow Allen, and Lenalee'll have a schedule for you so we can help you get to class," He grinned, then stood and waved goodbye. "See you later!"

Lenalee and Allen smiled and waved as well, then continued to talk. After about half an hour, she looked at the clock and sighed.

"Sorry Allen, it seems that I have to go. My brother doesn't like it when I return late, so he has my roommate mark the times whenever I get back." Allen rose his eyebrows.

"Really? That's one protective brother you've got there." Lenalee laughed.

"Don't I know it. But he's a good brother, so I like to keep him happy. See you, Allen," She said and stood, turning to leave. Allen smiled, saying,

"Bye," And she left. Allen himself got up and stretched.

_I guess I should go and check my email now._ He thought, picking up the eating utensils and plates. He left them in the sink and walked to his room.

Sitting down at his desk, he opened up his laptop and pressed the on button. As he waited for it to turn on, he leaned down and opened one of the drawers, pulling out the slip of paper on which he had scrawled a few words.

_Now then, I guess I'll check the private one..._

Allen opened up the site and typed in 'blackslashcherries', and typed in the password as well. In his inbox were three emails, one from the mail service itself that he ignored, and one Tyki - that is, if Tyki's username really _was_ 'butterflymadness' had sent.

_Honestly, I know that he uses butterflies to lead people to heaven, but..._ Allen sighed and clicked on it.

* * *

_Hello Darling,_

_Tyki here, as if you haven't figured that out already._

_Just wanted to tell you that it turns out I'm being moved, so I'll be a bit more busy now ;D Rhode's helping me with the job, so we won't be able to talk to you on chat after all, and your daily lists won't be sent by us, but rather instead sent by a computer auto-generator._

_Knowing you, this won't make much of a difference, so it's not much of a problem X3_

* * *

Allen looked at the email, then went straight back to the inbox. Tyki was right. It _didn't_ make much of a difference. The last email was rather strange. It said,

**Subject:** Subject Field HTML;font size='unregisteredfield',undefined quantity/{The20%List}

Allen, figuring it was just heaven's sucky computer, clicked on the email.

* * *

_The List_

_Janet Sumnters_

_Fudfer Thought_

_Poker Mon_

_John Doe_

_DL and connect to pad_

* * *

Allen clicked on the download link, then searched through his desk for the compact digital map he used for finding his..._clients._ It looked like a compact mirrir, which was rather awkward, but it wasn't like anyone had to _see_ it, so it was fine.

Grabbing it and the connection cord, he opened the file and transferred it. Satisfied once points on his map started glowing, he stood and left the room - not forgetting his wallet and jacket, of course.

However, once he reached the door, he opened it only to have it slammed back shut by Kanda, who now stood between him and the door. Kanda rose an eyebrow.

"Where do you think you're going?" Allen, confused as well as a bit peeved, replied,

"_Out?_" Kanda glared and shook his head.

"You aren't going anywhere," He said. Allen scowled.

* * *

**Oooooh, a cliffhanger(or is it?)!XD**

**Been feeling kinda sad today(stupid teenage angst) and rather than writing bad poetry and cutting myself, I decided to write another chapter. I tried to actually plan the chapter before writing it for once(usually I just have one line I want to stick in, and build around that), and this was the outcome, so tell me if you thought it was any better than usual. :3**

**_MAN _I want to see someone ask Kanda what's for dinner, and have Kanda reply 'beansprouts' out of spite. Or 'Rabbit'. XD**

**Also, the messed up subject is obviously not actual coding, I was just too lazy to actually think of anything.**

**As always, this isn't beta'd, so feel free to correct me anywhere.**

**Mind telling me if you caught any random references to other things in the chapter?(Totally not Product Placement here XD) Some of them need to be said out loud to catch :O**

**Thanks to cielx12, zYnKiE, Mukuro 234, and Pathless for reviewing! Replies here :D**

**cielx12**** -** They seem to me as the type that like to mess with other people's minds :D Lavi seems that way too to me XD

**Pathless**- :'D I was wondering if anyone caught the reference XD You were the only one to comment on that :D However, I just couldn't resist making references...There are more in this chapter actually :3 It seems that whenever I write a character I forget about their powers and make them into normal people who eat with their mouth full :/ Oh, well, it's amusing I guess :)

**If you think that those four characters would _never_ use such strange eating utensils, click the review button and tell me why! :D**


End file.
